Every parent’s ultimate goal is to see their kids grow up to abide by good values and morals. This is usually passed by targeted communication by words. Words have power. It is especially powerful in parental vocabulary, as we “take out” the same twists and words over and over again every day and praise or scold them. Children usually absorb these words unnoticed: their self-esteem, image of the world and role in it, their trust in others, relationship to relationships will all depend on what words and deeds we try to nurture them with. The following are some typical phrases and emotional backgrounds now.
Table of Contents
Creating a balance between house chores and playtime
So if you didn’t have a lot to do, you could play with me.” The little one thinks to himself.
I have remorse that I can’t always play with, even though that would be my thing: a good mother plays a lot with her children. I could barely deal with him today, I don’t even know how others can play with the kid so much, if I’m not there with him when he asks, he won’t love him.” The mother thinks to herself.
The reality is that you won’t disappoint her if you can’t always play with her and you don’t have to apologize to her for not being a super mother because you can’t be perfect, but that kid doesn’t need that either. A lot of moms separate themselves from boring chores and super play, and I want to spare you, keep the little bit away from the chores, get over the chores quickly so they can then play together all day. But life isn’t just about play, it’s about housework, it’s about gardening, it’s also about play for the child: why not involve them too? Cooking, for example, is especially fun, cooking for the little ones together, seeing what you’re doing in the kitchen can get your attention on nutrition, make your appetite bigger, and increase the preference for eating the food.
Communicating with purpose rather than ambiguity
It is always better to relate with kids in a manner that will create purpose rather than ambiguity. Usually, because of insecurity parents often like to communicate indirectly as dare not give the child a clear instruction not to offend him, so he tries to communicate what he has to say in a refined way. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this if you put across a clear intention for the kid to understand. For instance, asking the child to count the ceiling so that he or she will lie down. However, if you want the little one to fall asleep alone in his bed, you will need to talk to him in the second person, which will be more understandable and clear to him as well: “It’s too late, you have to lie down. If you sleep early you will wake up strong!
Shifting responsibility to create fear in kids
It is unfortunate for a parent to threaten the anger of others. Sentences like “If you get so bad, Santa won’t bring you a present,” “Uncle Doctor told me to put on a scarf so he wouldn’t catch a cold.” This is to shift responsibility to others. Threatening is not a good educational tool in itself, it should be treated with its infancy:
– children start to understand the “if-then” connections around the age of 2 until you say “if you don’t behave well, I lock you in your room”,
– the child soon you experience that what you threatened does not come true (Dad won’t be angry, Santa still brings a gift, etc.), so the object of the threat is ultimately left behind most of the time,
– you put authority in the hands of others (Father, Santa, Uncle Doctor), you practically put your hand on “Sorry, I am innocent, they can do it” and you create uncertainty around you: it would be your job as a parent to lead them a little, and one who has power can drive, but how could one who points to others have power?
Thoughtful Assertiveness in communication
It is important not to cut across as overly commanding the kids. This type of communication, when you command the child in an intolerant way, can have two effects:
– You are anxious and turn your temper inwards (which may come out later to brainwash the other children in the playground),
– or they begin to rebel openly and misbehaves outright.
For a child to be cooperative with you, that is, to do what you ask, you need to accept you as a “leader,” but not because they are afraid of you (“I get punished if I don’t do it”) or because you feel emotionally unstable (“Mom won’t love me if I don’t do it”), but because it’s natural for her. The willingness to cooperate is a balance that needs to be maintained: the child sometimes rebels, doesn’t want to do what you say because they just have a more important preoccupation, and so on. In such cases, the way is not “even then, because I said,” but space should be given to him as well (“You can still watch this tale, but when it’s over, we’ll turn off the TV and unpack your cars”) and make it clear also that certain things do have to be done, even if they are tiring, uncomfortable, and so on.
Consideration complex
Most parents (even me) involuntarily slip sentences like “lie down nicely and fall asleep.” But kids don’t know this because “falling asleep” itself is a complex concept. Some kids even say, “I can’t fall asleep”. That’s why you don’t have to ask them to fall asleep, but rather to “Lie down nicely in bed, stay calm, close your eyes and suddenly the dream comes to pass” This is already a viable thing for the child to know what to do.
Conclusion
It is therefore expedient that parents should always cultivate time to relate with their children at every phase of their lives especially the early developmental formation stage and imbibe moral values to shape their personalities as they grow.
Comments are closed