Patience is a virtue – we have all heard it many times. However, I have always believed that although we know that patience is important, it is still one of the greatest life lessons. In our modern society of instant gratification, sometimes patience is a forgotten commodity. It’s a bit like a joke, God grant me patience. Give it to me right away.
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines patient as:
- not hasty or impetuous
- manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain
- steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity
It’s no surprise that we’re eager. After all, it must be unappealing if we connect bearing suffering with not complaining and silently tolerating insults. It appears that we will assume the role of martyr, “suffering the anguish silently”. However, if we associate it with calm forbearance, diligence, and perseverance, we will see the other side of patience.
Patience is confident
Patience, in my opinion, is identical to faith. Patience necessitates trust in ourselves, in our fellow humans, and in everyday life. When a youngster is learning to talk, for example, even if we don’t comprehend what they are saying, we have patience (confidence) that one day they will speak properly and we will understand.
In the same way, when we work on a project, we have patience (belief), it will work out, and we will succeed in achieving the goals we set. However, sometimes we give up, we lose confidence, we lose patience, both with ourselves and with others.
Being patient with others
How hard it is to be patient! Sometimes, what we desire from others is not always what we get in the end. For instance, we are impatient to come tomorrow, we are impatient for the weekend, we are impatient with a promotion, a raise, a new job, the arrival of our date, the departure of our date. It seems there are always reasons to be impatient.
When we examine the sources of our impatience, we find that they all convey discontent with the present. We don’t have what we desire right now. Although this is not necessarily bad in itself, after all, having a vision of a better life for yourself is a good thing but to do so instead of living and understanding the current situation to plan for the desired outcome. We often ignore our now because we have a vision that things can or should be better.
Another example of a lack of patience is when dealing with our compatriots (and ourselves). What makes us impatient is that things become a cause of division between us and others. We become impatient because some people are “slow”, “careless”, “arrogant”, “stubborn”, “obsessed”, “proud”, etc., turning our impatience into judgment and anger, creating mini wars within our family, workplace, or neighbors.
Being patient with yourself
We (including myself) are impatient because we haven’t given up any habit we’ve attempted to stop. This is because sometimes we don’t know what type of person we can be, our inadequacy sometimes takes the place of our competence. We are impatient with ourselves, angry with ourselves, and at war with ourselves.
However, if we have patience (confidence), we will see that all this is short-lived. Just as a baby learns to walk or talk, there is a learning process. In this process, we make mistakes – try again and again – we also make mistakes and we must try again.
Becoming impatient with ourselves and our compatriots won’t help by any means. It places us in the situation of rivals, not companions. It places us in the situation of judge and jury, not a source of help. It creates division, as opposed to giving light to make the way simpler.
Whether it is a personal challenge, a relationship challenge, or a general challenge, what you need most is to believe in yourself and others. We must see ourselves as children learning to walk, knowing that we will fall and we will make mistakes, but we must keep our beliefs in mind. We will succeed in the end. We will learn how to gain love, accept others, and believe in ourselves.
What the world needs now
Everyone, including you, must be patient. The patience we have is sometimes all that is required. We’ve watched them suffer for so long, and it’s sometimes easy for us to understand what they should do as a result, rather than label them as furious or arrogant.
Even if we now have an adult body, we are still children in it, continuously learning. The abilities we are gaining right now are more emotional and spiritual than physical. We’re learning to love ourselves and others, to be patient with ourselves and others, to respect ourselves and others, and so on.
These “life lessons” are much more difficult than learning to walk, because there are always so many temptations to take another path, an easy path, a path of laziness, a path of judgment and criticism.
It seems easier to be selfish instead of loving yourself. It is easier to judge than to support. But the price we paid is great. The price is lost love, happiness, and true inner peace. When we keep calling our brothers and sisters, when we laugh at them (whether silently or not), when we judge that they are not “united together”, we cannot be at peace with ourselves.
Be patient with family
With our family, it’s easy to get into this cycle. After all, “John” has tried and failed to quit smoking throughout the years. Also, for numerous years, “Jane” has been a dominating and unpleasant individual.
However, life lessons are not in their behavior. Everyone knows (at least unknowingly) that we cannot change anyone. We can only change ourselves. The magic is that the more we accept (ourselves and others), the more loving, the less judgmental and critical we become.
It is important to note that we all have some inner rebellion. When we feel that there is a wall of resistance, we sometimes dig deeply. Remember, when you were a teenager, your mother wants you to do something you don’t want to do. The more she pushes, the more you resist (or just me?).
We all still have the teenager living in us, and the more we push (self and others), the more resistance. However, the higher the love and acceptance in our hearts, the less resistance we encounter.
Love is the answer – it is the key to the future of our dreams. However, if we are not unconditionally loving ourselves, loving others, without judgment, without criticism, and with patience, we cannot unconditionally ask others to love us.
Consequently, we must perceive the inner self that everyone encounters. We must know that although the external behavior is not loved, the inner self is waiting for the opportunity to “rise and shine” inside. The more we love, the more patient, and the more we accept what is now, the less resistance we encounter.
Conclusion
It is important to deliberately cultivate the habit to embrace patience. This is not an easy path, but it has become easier. The difficult part is to overcome the inertia of past behaviors and attitudes. Once we open our hearts of patience, confidence, unconditional love, and acceptance, the path becomes easier. We learn to ignore aggravation and mistakes. Let us be patient with ourselves, the people around us, and the whole world. Let us believe that love will prevail.